My name is Brett Cline and I own and manage the best antique store in Sydney ‘Old Is New Again’ on Pitt Street in the heart of the city.
I am recently divorced after 30 years of marriage and to fill my weekends in I travel from different markets and garage sales looking for something interesting to sell in my store.
So after cleaning up after my evening meal on Friday night I got online and after a quick search I was delighted to find a garage sale only a ten minute drive away in Rose Bay.
I like garage sales because most people don’t know the true value of what they are selling and even now and then i came across a precious piece of jewelry or a valuable heirloom worth thousands of dollars for a few bucks.
I arrive precisely at 8am and already a few people are browsing the tables which hold the usual array of plants, kids clothes, kitchenware and bric a brac, I give them the once over but my eyes are searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
After ten minutes of fruitless searching I am just about to give up when I notice the neck of a slender green bottle sticking out from behind an old heater ‘This looking promising’ I say under my breathe but just as I reach for the bottle a hefty lady almost knocks me off my feet ‘Excuse me’ said lady snarls ‘But i was here first I deserve that bottle that you almost put your grubby fingers on.’
‘I think not Karen’ I say as I block her bulk with an arm ‘If you spoke to me with kindness instead of barking at me the bottle would yours now go away and annoy someone else.’
After asking the person running sale how much the bottle would cost me I walk out with a bargain having spent a miserly $3.
Outside the front gate I notice the Karen and she looks like she has been crying and I feel ashamed of the way I behaved inside so I race towards her car before she can drive away.
She notices me approaching and begins to sob ‘I apologize for my rudeness inside’ I say and go to give her the bottle ‘Here this belongs to you.’
‘No it doesn’t I pushed you out of my way so take the bottle home and don’t forget to give it a rub because who knows a genie might pop out.’
After saying goodbye to each other I walk over to my car and drive 30 minutes to my store to see how the sales are going but also to give the bottle a proper appraisal.
When I enter the store my business partner Casey Lamborne is busy helping an old gentleman with a purchase so I carry the bottle into the back office and quickly get down to business.
The bottle stands 40 centimetres and is inlayed with what appear to be fake rubies, sapphires, diamonds and is decorated with gold leaf.
As I examine the bottle I look out front to see if Casey needs any help but she is still occupied with the customer.
I first met Casey back in the 1990’s when we attended the same university and shared an interest in history and antiquities.
She is a few years younger than me with long blond hair and a great personality and now all these years later Casey and I have a strong business relationship.
‘What have you got there? I look up to see Casey standing in the doorway ‘Just an old bottle that I found at a garage sale this morning come in and tell me what you think.’
Casey sits down next to me and examines the bottle with a loupe for a few minutes than screams ‘Holy shit Brett, I believe that this bottle is thousands of years old and I think that the rubies, diamonds and sapphires are all genuine plus with the gold leaf this bottle has the potential to be valued in the high six figure range if not seven figures.’
Thank God I am sitting down because my knees are shaking ‘Are you sure Casey? hand me the bottle for a second because I think I saw something inscribed on the bottom of the bottle.
Casey hands it over along with the loupe’ and I look at the bottle from all angles and gasp ‘Yes the words are a little hard to make out but they say MADE IN CHINA.’
‘What’ Casey blurts out and than she sees that I am joking ‘Why you bastard I could kill you.’
When we both settle down I tell Casey that even thou I believe her it would be wise to get an expert opinion so I take a pic of the bottle an attach it to an email that I send to an old professor from my uni days named Alfred Pennyworth and I get a reply straight away telling me to put the bottle in the safe until he arrives.
Unlike his namesake from Batman who is a calm efficient butler the Alfred Pennyworth who just walked into my establishment is a bundle of nerves who dresses like a relic from the 18th century but most importantly he is a great friend and colleague.
‘So tell me more about this bottle of yours Brett.’
I tell about the garage sale and that Casey believes that the bottle is old and worth a shitload of money.
‘As I told Brett I believe that the bottle dates from the 9th century in the Baltic region of Europe and is made from pure jade with precious gem inlays and gold leaf.’
‘Sorry guys but i need to go’ Alfred says ‘My wife wants me to bring something home for dinner and I don’t dare be late.
‘Keep the bottle in the safe Brett and bring it to my office one day next week so it can be properly examined my me and a staff member who I trust completely but going by the picture that Brett sent me Casey could be on the mark but we won’t know for sure until the bottle has been carbon dated.’
‘I should be going to Brett’ Casey says as she stands’ I need to go shopping so come on Alfred I will walk you to your car.’
‘I say goodbye to my two friends’ Thanks for coming Alfred I will let you know what day to expect me next week, see you on Monday Casey.’
‘I will empty the till and tidy up a bit before I get going as well.’
‘Hey Brett’ Alfred calls from the front door’ Give the bottle a rub because who knows a genie might appear and grant you a wish or two.’
I lock the front door with Alfred’s words ringing in my ears because that is the second time today that someone has mentioned genie’s.
After tidying a bit and putting the till drawer in the safe next to the bottle I lock up to enjoy the rest of the weekend.
Just as I reach my car to drive home Alfreds and the woman from the garage words are still revolving around my brain so I backtrack and re-enter my store where I quickly unlock the safe and put the bottle on my desk.
Opening the top drawer I grab a polishing cloth and begin to clean the bottle than I take off the stopper and peer inside but the bottle is completely empty ‘Jesus Brett; I mutter ‘Did you really expect a young blond genie to appear and grant you three wishes.’
‘I am still laughing when I notice a stubborn dirty spot just below the neck so I spat on the cloth and began to rub harder and harder and to my complete surprise the bottle begins to shake and a huge orange cloud emerges twirling like a mini tornado.
I wave my arms around and soon the cloud dissipates leaving behind a short balding genie wearing bright purple pantaloons with a matching turban.
We stare at each other for a few seconds before the genie proclaims ‘I am Blat master genie from Bucharest and I was born in the year 1146 but pray tell where are all of your sheep and goats?’
I can’t help but laugh at the absurd comment ‘My name is Brett the owner of this fine establishment and sorry but I don’t own any livestock and today is the 26th October 2023and you are currently in Sydney Australia.’
‘I have never heard of such a place but please tell me that you have a larder full of chicken livers and pigs feet?’
‘Sorry again but I could whip up a vegemite sandwich or perhaps you would like cheese on toast?’
Thinking that Blat wouldn’t like the Australian delicacy I quickly make some cheese toasties which Blat eats greedily.
‘Very nice but now to business, what is your first wish?’
I am suddenly nervous because I don’t want to waste any wishes ‘So Blat how many wishes do I actually get?’
Blat who reminds me of Mario from those Nintendo games ponders my question ‘Well Brett if you are my master for eternity I will grant you three wishes every five years but I warn you Brett that if after agreeing to be my master and than renege on the vow I will move heaven and earth to destroy you but enough talk what do you wish for?’
I want to tell Blat that I was really hoping for a hot young blond genie like the one in that old TV show and that I don’t want to be his master either but a shitload of wishes is hard to resist ‘Okay Blat I will be your master but I am still hungry so I will go make us some more food while I think about what my first wish will be.’
A few minutes later I return to the office with a tray of food and coffee to see Blat waving a small gold wand around ‘It has been quite a while since I granted my last wish so permit me time to hone my skills.’
‘Blat in what year did you actually grant a wish?
I can see Blat thinking inside his head ‘I believe that it was in the year 1399 give or take a hundred years.’
The two of us eat in silence for a few minutes and as I nibble on a vegemite sandwich I look around my office ‘Blat I have decided that for my first wish will be a brand new office space with all the mod con’s.’
Blat stands wiping his hands on his pantaloons and after a few deep breaths he begins to wave the wand around but nothing happens even after he tries again and again the office remains unchanged.
Not only do I get an old man genie but a genie who can’t grant wishes ‘Blat try crossing your arms and blinking or wriggle your nose a bit.
Blat gives me a murderous look ‘Please master I am a little rusty ’tis all.’
‘I am all out of ideas but after thinking what could it hurt I hand Blat his first vegemite sandwich ‘Here Blat try this sandwich it is full of yeast and tastes great and it might give you the energy to grant wishes again.’
Blat smiles and takes a huge bite and begins to chew but than his face turns purple and he begins to cough and splutter so I whack him on the back a few times to dislodge the food and soon enough Blat recovers ‘Did you try and poison me master because I am trying my best.’
I start laughing ‘No Blat that is usually the first reaction after a foreigner eats a vegemite sandwich but don’t worry you get used to the taste,’
Blat and I share a laugh but I am brought back to reality but a loud tapping on the front door and when I look out of the office door Casey stares back beckoning me to open the door.
I wave to tell her to give me a minute ‘Quick Blat back in your bottle I have a visitor.’
‘Sorry master but I have lost all of my powers and can not return to my former residence until I have fixed the issue.’
‘Fucking great. I mutter in dismay.
THE END.
Part Two coming soon.
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