Author Archives: stevenjohnno

The Walking Head

10 Sunday Jan 2016

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I lay in my Hospital Bed

I am still breathing

I have no Body

You see I am nothing but a Head

The Doctors have told me that I will

walk again

But I think they are being optimistic

I have no Body

Therefore I have no Legs

As I lay in my Hospital Bed

I like a Bowling Ball with Hair

I no longer have any need for Clothes

And I have no need for Socks or Underwear

But the Doctors keep telling me

That my future looks bright

Even though I am a Head without a Body

I should still be alright

As I lay in my Hospital Bed

I look down at the Floor

It is a drop of three foot or more

I have another look and wonder if

I roll out of Bed

Would I bounce?

Or burst open like a Watermelon?

I guess there aint no telling

Nurse comes to my Bedside to give me

a Sponge Bath

I am not a Man

I am not by half

So it doesn’t take long to give my Head

a Wash

But as the Nurse starts to dry me off

I end up on the Floor gosh

Well I start to roll like a drugged up Medicine

Ball

I roll out of my room and get halfway down the

hall

Then I am scooped up and passed back to the

Nurse

She gives me a look all sullen and terse

Like it is my fault

That I am just a Head

You know I had a little accident

MY Head got caught in an Elevator Door

My Body went to the next Floor

But my Head didn’t quite make it

As my Head hit the Floor

I screamed ‘I don’t like this bit’

‘I don’t like it at all’

Well my Doctor came around again

And he that with a few Skin grafts

I should be on the mend

I think my Doctor has gone round the bend

You see I have no Skin to graft

I t all ended up at the bottom of that Elevator

Shaft

As I lay in my Hospital Bed

I feel the start of a panic attack

So I blink my Eyes and twitch my Nose

To make the Nurse come back

I have no Hands so I cant press the Emergency

Button

I am starting to think that I have been forgotten

But then the Nurse comes rushing back into

my Room

One of the other Patients has passed away

I close my Eyes with Sorrow

I cant think of anything to say

She reassures me that everything is alright

And She pats me on the Head

And She wishes me a goodnight

In the morning I wake up with a pounding

in my Chest

But it cant be anything

Because I am nothing but a Head

Just a Head none of the rest

I think I am feeling Phantom pain

Will I ever feel my own Body again?

I see the Doctor approaching my Bed

What will he tell me this time?

Maybe he will tell me that my Head has been

hired out as one of those open mouthed Clowns

in sideshow alley

Or maybe they will give me a Wig apply some

makeup and call me Sally>

But none of the above apply

And I will tell you why

My Doctor tells me that a Skeleton has been located

And that it will be attached to my Brain Stem

So I will no longer be just me

Some of me will be them

So the Skeleton is attached in a nine hour Operation

And hopefully there will be Bone fusion

And my Nerves want short circuit and blow a fuse

I just hope that when I wake

The Doctor will give me some good news

And for once the news is good

Everything is going well so far

The Skeleton attachment was a complete success

I now have a Body of sorts I guess

So now I am a Head

With a collection of a strangers Bones

Now all I did is some internal Organs

And a covering of Skin

My Doctor tells me that strands of my DNA

are attaching themselves to the Bones

So all of my internal Organs should start to grow

Maybe I will be tall and handsome

You never know!

Three Months later

And the Transformation is almost complete

I feel a lot like Frankensteins Monster

Except there aren’t any Bolts in my Neck

I also feel like  Violinist playing on the Titanics

Deck

Will I swim or will I sink?

I am feeling OK

I am in the pink I think

Six weeks later

And I walk out of that Hospital a new Man

I say goodbye to the doctor and Nurse

And I thank them for all their help and attention

And I walk out of that Hospital with a smile on

my Face

I am going home to Tarana Place

I am now a Walking Head

Attached to a brand new Body

Everything is working properly

I feel like a brand new me

Or should I say a brand new you.

THE END

Thanks you for reading one of my stories and if you have the means could you please make a donation to go towards my ambtion to become a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

A Heartbreak Song

08 Friday Jan 2016

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Coffee and Vanilla

Ebony and Ivory

Black and White

Call it whatever you like

But People are being discriminated against

and put down

All because of the Colour of their Skin

Don’t just look at the Colour of the Skin

Get to know the Person within

White Black Brown or Olive

We are all human

We are all the same

Don’t just look at the colour of the Skin

Ask them their name

There is good and bad in all of the Races

Smiles and frowns on all of the Faces

We all live on the same Planet

So we all should try harder to get along

When I see someone being put down

I deep inside my Soul

And sing a Heartbreak Song

There is still trouble and fighting in the Middle East

For over Sixty Years there has been War after War

And very little Peace

Palestinians and Israelies fighting over the same piece

of land

A divided piece of land surrounded by Sand

One side wants what the other side wants

And neither side will budge an Inch

Would why accept Peace at a pinch?

I think that the hatred that they for each other

is so ingrained into their Brains

They have become blase’ to all the sorrow and pain

They just go about their business surrounded by Barbed

Wire and Barricades

And they don’t feel the Fire from Hades

But I hope that isn’t true

Surely both sides have Emotions and Feelings

Surely they want a resolution

A final answer a solution

I have no answers

I am just writing this Story

I am just a simple Person

I am not after Fame and Glory

Like everybody else I just want World Peace

So why don’t we end the violence in the Middle East

Once again People why cant we just get along?

I reach deep into my being

And sing another Heartbreak Song

But you don’t have to go to the other side of the World

to find trouble and tension

It is right there in your own Neighbourhood

People are always looking for trouble

They hardly ever seek out the good

Domestic violence Bullying in the Workplace and Schools

All of these People are a Link

In the Chain of Fools

Just give me some Boltcutters

And I will cut through the Links

And sever the Stupidity

And get People to THINK

THINK before you act

THINK before you do

Because before you know it

The Foot will be in the other Shoe

And it will start to kick back

Bruisers are caused by losers

Tears are caused by fears

The Aborigines The Eskimos and The Native Americans

The original and Spiritual owners of their lands

Have all been pushed aside and rejected

While the White People took over

And not a hint of regret is detected

The White People seemed to think that they had

the right to take over

They spread their Diseases and their meddling ways

And they didn’t even think twice

And the Original Owners were the ones to pay the price

I am still singing in a very loud voice no one is listening

The disadvantaged People struggle through their Tear Drops

glistening

I am going to lose my voice before very long

I look to the Heavens and sing yet another Heartbreak Song

Alcohol abuse was a symptom of the White Mans invasion

For the Original Owners their isn’t any reason for a celebration

Their way of Life has been forever eroded

Their very fabric of life forever corroded

Now there is trouble in Syria

The Syrian People are fleeing their own Country

And flooding their Neighbours borders with their needs

Their Eyes are lost and lonely

While their empty Faces plead

Isis is spreading like a Locust Plague

They seem to think that they are the Face of a Religion

They Behead innocent People of different Religious

Persuasions

All this fighting over who has the biggest Imaginary Friend

All of the needless violence against the innocent has to end

But people of all Religions in all of the Countries in the World

Just remember one thing

There is no shame

We are all the same

I have lost my voice from all of the singing

So all of you out there open your Mouths

And as loud as you can

Sing a slow mournful Heartbreak  song.

THE END.

Thank you for taking the time to read one of my stories and if you can please make a donation to go towards my ambition to become a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

Silence Of The Clams

19 Saturday Dec 2015

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Blah Blah Blah

I am hearing a voice in my Eardrum

One of my workmates is bending back my Ear

And he is just in first gear

This could go for two hours until our next break

Doesn’t he know that silence is golden

For fuck sake

After about thirty minutes his words are going

in one Ear and out of the other

My Brain has shut down and run for cover

My workmate is a good guy

He just talks too much

He thinks that his words have got the magic touch

But I have heard all of his stories before

But I don’t want to hear them no more

So I decide to follow my Brains example

And go to a different space

But I keep the ‘I am listening’ look on my Face

The place I go to is way beneath the waves

I swim with the Turtles and the Stingrays

Then I dive down to the Ocean bottom

The reason I am is long forgotten

And them through the muddy water I can see

that I have reached

The silence of the Clams

Clams are cool cause there mouths open and close

all day and all night

But not a sound is heard

You can listen all you want

But you wont hear a word

Hang on someone is pulling on my Arm

And I am brought back to reality

My workmate is still talking for Heavens sake

Thank Christ it is almost time for a break

After work I go to the Barber to get a Haircut

And I get a sinking feeling in my Gut

There are about Ten guys waiting their turn

I can feel my Stomach starting to churn

The guy in the chair is getting short back and sides

I sit in a chair and try to hide

The Barber is talking about the Weather

And ‘Wasn’t it hot today’

Then everybody is talking at once

Everyone has to have their say

The Barber is Clipping Combing and flapping

his Gums

Everyone is squirming in their seats uncomfortable

with a very numb Bum

The customer climbs down from the chair

And thanks the Barber for doing a great job

The Barber ‘That’s ok see you later Bob

The next Customer climbs up

Only Nine more to go

Everybody is still talking at once

Yapping to and fro

Then I feel my Brain drifting off to my place

beneath the waves

I block everything out

It is the silence that I crave

I am swimming with the Fish and the Mermaids

There is no need for flippers or hearing aids

Cause down here you don’t need any Ears

I could stay down here for years and years

And then just like that wham

I have reached

The Silence of the Clams

Then I hear the sound of clipping

And Car horns bipping

And I realise that I am back at the centre of Town

My Ears have grown sensitive to sounds

The Barber is telling me that it is my turn to sit

in the chair

I sit back like I haven’t got a care

I tell him’Dont take too much off I just want a trim’

But all I can think about is going for a swim

The Barber is talking non stop

About sports the weather he is just shooting the Breeze

I feel like screaming out ‘Can I just have silence please?’

I realise that he is just making conversation

So I slip away before there is a confrontation

Once again I drift down deep below

Looking cooler then Hans Solo

A Pod of Dolphins are with me as I swim down to the

Sea Floor

And then before I know it Bam

I have reached

The Silence of the Clams

Then I hear screaming and I realise it is coming

from me

My Eyes are open

But I don’t believe what I see

The Barber has dyed my Hair Red

And given me a Perm and a style

I wont be going back there for quite a while

But it is my own fault for drifting off

And not paying attention

I was swimming with the Dolphins

When the Barber was asking questions

He misunderstood what I was looking for in a Haircut

I didn’t get what I wanted

Anything but

So People don’t just talk and talk and talk

Cause your listeners might just take a little walk

Sometimes just have a listen instead

Don’t be so extroverted

Be Cool be introverted

So if you are ever in a situation

When someone is talking too much

Just go to your own happy place

Just keep that ‘Im listening’ look on your Face

They will never know

They will just keep on talking.

THE END

Thank you for taking the time to read one of my stories and if you have the means could you please make a donation to go towards my ambition to become a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

The Harvester

20 Friday Nov 2015

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Deep in the bowels of Washington Memorial Hospital

Is a small surgical theatre

The door is always locked

And only one Doctor has the key

That Doctor is Dr Studdert

AKA Dr Death

Dr Death the head of a secret group

A group that is in the business  of buying

Human Organs

None of the Organs are donated voluntarily

They are taken by force

But with surgical precision

Whenever Dr Death needs an organ

He makes a phone call to a man handy with a scalpel

That man is the Harvester

The Harvester is a like Jack Reacher

Except he lives on the wrong side of the tracks

If they make a movie about him

Tom Cruise wouldn’t get the role

If you could turn back time

Charles Bronson would be perfect for the role

Silent but deadly

But the Harvester couldn’t care less about a movie

He is getting restless

If only the phone would ring

All of his tools are sharpened and ready to go

At the Hospital Dr Death visiting a Patient who

is in desperate need of a new Kidney

He has been on a machine for a few years now

But what he really needs is a transplant

Waiting has put a strain on both Doctor and patient

Dr Death knows that this patient has run out of options

So he calls the  Harvester

The Harvester answers his phone at the first ring

He is really restless he needs a cutting job

He listens as Dr Death gives him all of the details

The required blood group and other relevant information

Plus the of an ex patient who could be a suitable donor

That suitable donor is currently at home watching his

Favourite movie

It is a horror movie The Slicer

The Harvester knocks on the door with a creepy

smile on his face

He stands at the door stoop his Heart is racing with

anticipation

The suitable donor hears the knocking and swears silently

to himself

The movie is just about to reach its climax

Talk about timing

He goes to the front door full of frustration

To be met by a sort of smiling Salesman

He is just about to slam the door shut when he meets

the Salesman Eye

And his Heart is chilled to the core

The suitable donor looks down and sees that the Salesman

is carrying a portable cooler

Is he going on a Picnic?

Well the the Salesmans smile grows even grows

even creepier

The suitable donors Stomach starts to roll

And for a moment he doesn’t know what to do

That is what the Harvester has been waiting for

That moment of uncertainty

And with one kick the screen door folds in

Then with a punch to the face the  suitable donor

is on the ground

Then the Harvester moves quick and with just a few

slices the Kidney is cut free

With a few stitches the wound is closed

The Kidney is put on ice

Then the Harvester calls Dr death and tells him that

a new Kidney is on its way to the Hospital

At the Hospital Dr Death is preparing the Operating

Threatre

The recipient is moved downstairs ready for his

second chance at life

But before the operation goes ahead Dr Death checks to

make sure that Fifty Thousand has been deposited into

his Account

Locating a suitable donor doesn’t come cheap

The Harvester just drifts back to his ordinary life

Living in the suburbs with his Wife and kids

The next day he goes to work at his day job

Just an ordinary guy

For a Month he goes about his business being a good

Husband and Dad

Then his phone rings again

Dr Death has a new assignment

This time he requires two Corneas for a Female

Patient

And time is of the essence

The Patient has had a relapse she needs a Transplant

now

The Harvester knows that this time the suitable donor

will have to die

He reads the information supplied by Dr Death

Another ex Patient of Dr Death has the matching Organs

The Harvester notes the Name and Address

Then he drives to the scene

The Harvester doesn’t understand he need for one person

to die so another can live

But who is he to argue?

As long as he gets paid his commission

He will carry out the deed

He rings the front door bell and puts a smile on

his face

The suitable donor opens the door

And The Harvester asks ‘Would you like to make a

donation?’

Before the suitable donor can answer she is shot straight

through the Heart

The Harvester lets himself inside and quickly goes

to the Kitchen and grabs a Teaspoon

Then he goes back to the suitable donor still laying

in the doorway

So he drags her out of sight

And then with the spoon he scoops out both of the Eyes

And puts them in his trusty cooler

The whole Operation has taken just two minutes

He has been and gone before the neighbours even know

that a Killer has been in their midst

For the next two years The Harvester is at Dr Deaths

calling

He does job after job collecting Organs from suitable donors

His Bank balance is growing at a steady rate

But his conscience is getting the best of him

He is way over the killing

And he wont do it anymore

But The Harvester isn’t an idiot he knows that his killings

want have gone unnoticed by the Police

He is losing sleep waiting for that knock on the door

He is a family man and he wants it to stay that way

So he calls Dr Death and tells him that he want kill no more

He is surprised when Dr Death instantly agrees

Dr Death says that he would be best to lay low for awhile

before the Police come sniffing around

The Harvester is relieved to be leaving that life behind

So he goes for a walk to clear his Head

He comes to a Bridge over the local Creek

He gets Dr Deaths phone out of his pocket and just drops

it into the water

That life is finally behind him

Six Months later The Harvester is at home having Dinner

with his Family

When his landline rings

The Harvester looks at the phone and he just knows

that it is Dr Death

He sends his Wife and Kids outside to get things ready

for the BBQ they were preparing

Then he answers the phone his forewarning was correct

Dr Death apologises for ringing him at home

But he has one last job

There would be no killing involved

The Donor would need to be brought to the Hospital alive

And for the inconvenience he will be paid $30,000

Dr Death tells him that the suitable Donor lives alone

And his Heart is needed urgently

Another ex patient of Dr Death is about to bite the dust

So the next morning The Harvester is sitting outside the

suitable Donors home waiting

It is almost 6.20 almost time for the Suitable Donor to

drive to work

Then the front door opens

The Harvester calls out to him asking for directions

The Suitable Donor is getting closer and closer to the

Harvesters Car

The Harvester waits for just the right time then he

Tasers the Suitable Donor and drags him inside his Car

On the drive to the Hospital starts to get an uneasy feeling

in his gut

Cause he has just remembered that he is also an ex patient

of Dr Death

The Harvester should of listened to his intuition

Cause as soon as he enters the Underground surgical theatre

he feels a pin prick on his Arm

He is placed on a bed and is prepared for an Operation

Dr Death leans over him and thanks him for donating

his Heart

He is a perfect match

And that dead men can tell no tales

The Harvester looks Dr Death right in the Eye and says’I wouldn’t

be so sure of that if I was you’

Back at home the Harvesters Wife is getting frantic

Her Husband hasn’t been home for two days

She decides that she will wait until Dinner time

And if he still isn’t home she will call the Police

But then she decides to drive to the Police Precinct

She goes out to the Garage and she spots an envelope

tucked under the windscreen wipers

She opens it and starts to read

She cant believe what she is reading

Her Husband a Killer?

She has been living with a monster for the last Three years

She just keeps on reading and reading

This Dr Death is going to pay

So she drives to her corner store and buys a pre paid phone

Then she places a phone call to the Police

She reads her Husbands letter to the Homicide Detective

Word for word

But to protect herself and her children she remains

anonymous

An hour later Dr Death is doing his rounds going from

patient to patient

attending to their needs

Then he kooks up to see two men in suits approaching and

he knows that his time is up

So he just stands there while he is handcuffed and read his

rights

Dr Death is in a daze as he is led away

He will spend the rest of his life behind bars

I guess dead men do tell tales.

THE END

Thank you for reading one of my stories and if you have the means could you please make a donation so that i can achieve my goal of becoming a fulltime writer. Thanks again Steven.

Asshole

14 Saturday Nov 2015

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The Asshole lives on Park Avenue

In a Penthouse overlooking Central Park

He wears designer clothes and

drinks Makers Mark

He lives so high up

He can almost touch the Stars

He owns lots of fancy cars

He sits on an Italian settee admiring the view

He only thinks about himself

He would never think about you

He gets a servant to run him a Bath

He lays there washing his troubles away

What troubles? he has never worked a day

in his life

The heaviest thing that he has lifted is a butter knife

Besides the Servant he also employs a Chaffeur  a Chef

and a Maid

They are all overworked and underpaid

The Maid is the Assholes favourite

He sometimes demands some favours

He gets her naked and tastes her many flavours

The Asshole knows that she doesn’t like it

But he is the master and she is the slave

So she keeps her Mouth shut and behaves

He has no time for other peoples wants and

feelings

They all live in the Basement

While he lives on the ceiling

Today is Tuesday the day he gets a manicure

He will have to mingle with the common people

they can be such a bore

The Asshole tells his Chaffeur Maurice to bring the

Daimler to the front door

He slides in and looks straight ahead

So that he can ignore the poor

They arrive downtown and Maurice scampers around

like a good Chaffeur should

He opens the car door

then stands there like a lump of wood

The Asshole doesn’t even acknowledge Maurice as he

steps out into the crowd

Why don’t people get out of his way

for crying out loud

Don’t they know who he is?

Cant they see that he is important?

His business is more urgent then theirs

And those crazy people peddling their wares

Arriving at the Manicurist the Asshole he wipes

down the seat

You never know what Germs other people carry

around

He gets his manicure without making a sound

He has no time for small talk and hearing about

other peoples troubles and woes

He just pays his money and gets up and goes

The Asshole gets outside and he is confronted by

a Gulf War Veteran holding up a sign ‘Can you spare

a buck for a Vet down on his luck?’

The Asshole replies with  ‘What the fuck? Get away from

me you worthless piece of shit I can smell you from here’

‘Go and have a wash and buy some decent clothes’

You beggars get right up my Nose’

The Veteran is stunned and his Eyes fill with tears

He just sits there watching the Asshole walk away

He has given his nation great service for many years

This Asshole will have his day

The Vet gets to his Feet with a determined look on his face

And he starts to follow the Asshole but he makes sure that

he isn’t seen

The Asshole has no idea who is on his case

Cause this Vet is a killing machine

His speciality was getting behind enemy lines to cut

off communications

Knives Garrottes he would use anything to achieve a

silent kill

Some of his methods aren’t sanctioned by the United

Nations

But he did what he did

And good old Uncle Sam paid all the bill

He notices the Asshole climb into the back seat of a big

fancy Car

Then he memorises the licence

Then he heads off to his favourite Bar

To meet his contact retired Detective De Latte

But first he takes the Assholes advice and he heads to

his Hostel room

For a change of clothes and a shower

Then it is time to meet a Det down on his luck

He used to hold a position of power

Now he lives at the bottom of a bottle

and doesn’t give a fuck

And sure enough even though it is only 10am the

Detective is sitting on his favourite stool

A glass of Whiskey grasped tightly in his Hand

This Detective was once nobodies fool

Now he is just a shadow of a Man

The Vet asks the Detective to run the Assholes plate

He needs the Assholes name and address

And he needs it straightaway

Cause this disrespectful Asshole has a big price to pay

The Assholes name is Marc Andrew Colhuon

Of Colhoun Gas & Oil

The Assholes life is now like a bowl of Milk left on the

bench

It is about to spoil

The Vet remembers his time in the Gulf War

Where he found what a pair of Pliers are best used for

Extracting Fingernails Toenails or snipping off the tip of

the Tongue

Tied to a Chair those prisoners died forever young

Maybe that is what this Asshole deserves

Some pain and sorrow

A Knife in the Guts a Bullet in the Kneecap

For him there are no more tomorrows

He will take his final nap

But that would be too quick

He wants this Asshole to suffer for years and years

The way that he talks to people

Is enough to make you sick

It is time that he wept ‘where did the money go’ tears

But first he has to get the Assholes hired help out of

the way

So he gets his favourite Detective to tell the Chaffeur

Chef and Maid that they have two months off on full pay

It is finally fucking time that this Asshole paid

So at 3am the Vet breaks into the Assholes Apartment

And he steals the Assholes tablet and laptop

In the morning the Asshole will wonder where his devices went

And the Vet is sure the Asshole wont be calling any Cop

At 9am the Asshole finally rolls out of bed

He doesn’t work he lives off his families wealth and money

He goes to the Bathroom scratching his head

He is glad he lives in the land of Milk and Honey

He calls out to the Maid that he is waiting for his cup of Cappucino

But there is no answer coming from the Kitchen

He runs around the Apartment like a demented Al Pacino

He cant believe the Maid has taken a day off

He screams moaning and bitching

And where is the Chef? He should be preparing the meals

He is tired of waiting so he calls to Maurice to bring the Car

around

But there is no answer

Where is everybody? Is this for real?

The Asshole doesn’t know what to do

He owns a Daimler but he cant drive

He cant function without people attending to his needs

But first he needs some Caffiene to stay alive

Then he will go home and call the hand that feeds

After his Coffee fix the Asshole arrives back home

Then he notices the empty space where his tablet and

laptop should be

He feels like a Dog who has lost his Bone

Dear God why me? why me?

The Vet has been busy

He has recruited a Computer and Financial expert to

examine all of the Assholes Bank and Credit Card Accounts

And then like a Pea they are frozen

The Vet would sure like to see the look on the Assholes face

when he realises that he is no longer one of the chosen

Then the Vet decides that frozen is not enough

He wants the Assholes Accounts thawed out and completely

emptied except for one dollar

Lets see if the Asshole can get down and tough

Or just a little under the collar

Then he recruits a digital photo enhancer

He can place a head on any body recreate any scene

So he puts the Assholes face on a pedophiles body

Having sex with an underage Boy

That should take the smile off the Assholes face

And bring an end to his joy

The photo is downloaded to the Assholes mobile phone

With instructions ‘Don’t call the Police or Daddy or this photo

will see the light of day’

Now lets see what the Asshole has to do or say

At that moment the Asshole is sitting on a park bench

wondering why is his life unravelling?

Then his Mobile vibrates in his pocket

He answers and sees the photo and instructions

His Eyes nearly pop out of their sockets

Surely that is not him? It must be a lookalike an imposter

The Asshole knows that he has never had Sex with a

minor

He knows that he isn’t the best person

But he isn’t a perverted monster

He needs a Beer to help calm his nerves

So he goes to the nearest Bar and orders a Millers Lite

Whoever is fucking with him can go fly a Kite

After a dozen Beers he the Asshole goes to pay the tab

But his Credit card is denied

If the Asshole had a Heart he would of cried

Lucky he has enough money in his pocket to pay for

the Beers

The Asshole is down but he will not cry any tears

It is still light when he hoes outside trying to figure out

what to do

He knows that the instructions said not to go to the Police

or Daddy

And right now he is deep in the poo

Right where an Asshole should be

So he arrives at Daddies place unannounced

Daddy opens the door with a look of horror on his face

The Assholes Heart starts to skip and bounce

Daddy just says ‘Get the fuck away from this place’

The Asshole is dumbfounded as he hears Daddies cruel

words

Then Daddy holds up his phone and the Asshole can see

that nasty picture

Daddy tells him that he is not to come  around no more

He has put a dark stain on the families name

The Asshole hangs his Head he has reached the end of

the game

He storms off and walks back to his Apartment

A two mile walk

Arriving at his address he is greeted by the Doorman

Who tells him that he no longer has access to his

residence

His Daddy has revoked the Lease

The Asshole is now Homeless Penniless and Hopeless

The Asshole wanders around in a daze surely this cant be

happening

But it is and it is for real

Now the Asshole has no choice but to Beg Borrow or Steal

Six Months later in a homeless shelter

The Asshole is drinking his watery Soup

Every part of his Body is starting to sag and droop

His mind has snapped he is starting to have delusions

Maybe by this time tomorrow it will all be just an illusion

The Vet is pleaded with himself he has brought the Asshole

to his Knees

He would never forgive him even if he said pretty please

A few harsh words that is all that the Asshole said

Now there is a big empty space deep inside his Head

In the shelter a transformation is taking place

The Asshole is literally turning into an Asshole

He is starting to nestle in between the cheeks even as we

speak

Now he lives where the Sun don’t shine

He was never a friend of yours

And he sure as fuck isn’t no friend of mine

So go ahead Asshole and do what an Asshole does

Just pucker

You Goddamn Motherfucking piece of shit Motherfucker.

THE END.

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I Had A Sigh Today

11 Wednesday Nov 2015

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I had a sigh today

How can people be so cruel

The smart people are underlings

While the stupid people rule

Whether at the workplace

Or at all levels of Government

The cream rises to the top

Then it starts to curdle

While everyday people are forever

jumping hurdles

All of the stupid people have their snouts

in the trough enough is enough

Bleeding the system dry

My sigh just turned into a cry

I had a sigh today

Watching the News on TV

The stupid peoples Eyes are open

but they just don’t see

All they think about is me me me

Not what can I do for you?

The stupid people and their self indulgent

narrow minded view

The rich people have more Money in their

Bank Accounts

While the poor have no food on their plates

The rich people have no worries

Their cheques want bounce

While the poor peoples fears and worries escalate

But not all of the rich people are bad

Gates and Buffett are a testament to that

They give away a lot of their money

But the fat Cats are still fat

While slim Jim is getting slimmer

The tension builds and simmers

I had a sigh today

Thinking about global warming

El Nino and all of the other nasty weather systems

Where has the Blue sky gone?

The clouds gather dark and storming

The weather man sings another rain filled song

I have to stop writing the lights just went on the

blink

The system is in overload

Maybe it is time to stop and think

Why do we still walk the well worn lonesome

road?

I am still sighing

I am still crying

The Earth is Dying

So why are we still multiplying?

Do we ever learn?

Humans are supposed to be the smartest of all

the Animals

But we are nothing but self serving Cannibals

I had a sigh today

Humans  have over fished all of the Earths Rivers

and Oceans

Every Animal on Earth is losing their habitat due to

Human greed

We experiment on Monkeys to develop Cosmetics

and skin lotions

We all have our hands in the Cookie jar

But we always take more then we need

I had a sigh today

The Rainforests are disappearing at an

alarming rate

So that we can build Houses and have wood chips

for the garden beds

Come on people use your Heads

All of the Animal should be roaming wild and free

But instead we carve them up to fill our obese guts

The slaughter should stop now

no ifs or buts

I am still fucking sighing

I am still fucking crying

The Earth is now officially dead

So don’t even bother getting out of bed

just castrate yourself instead.

THE END.

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I Cant Breathe

07 Saturday Nov 2015

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I wake up with what feels like an Elephant sitting on

my chest

The pain is relentless I haven’t had any rest

I stand at the Toilet my Heart is racing and my stream

wont flow

My life has hit the skids

It is at an all time low

Just don’t squeeze cause I cant breathe

Sitting at the Kitchen table the Coffee is percolating

I am running late

Am I keeping the World waiting?

But whether I am on time or not the Earth will still revolve

I have this problem that I don’t think I can solve

Has the Earth got an edge cause I want to jump off it

Cause it has reached the stage where I really don’t give

a shit

Just don’t squeeze cause I cant breathe

My Lungs are burning

Smoke and haze choke my airways

I cant breathe

Am I dying?

I cant breathe

Fuck it I am tired of trying

I sit on the Bus all the other passengers are talking

But I am silent

Am I a dead man walking?

Am I invisible?

Have I ever existed?

I am that present that is always re gifted

My ego has taken a hit

My self esteem is in the shit

Just don’t squeeze cause I cant breathe

I am in plain sight

Or am I just smoke and mirrors

Is this life worth the fight?

Or I could just end it with a pair of one armed Scissors

I have a pain inside that just want quit

I am tired of taking a hit after hit after hit

Just don’t squeeze cause I cant breathe

Is there life after death?

Maybe I am about to find out

Will I go quietly or with a shout?

Who will greet me?

The good Angel or the bad Angel from Hell

I can hear the sound of my final mournful Bell

My solution came in the shape of a Bullet from a Gun

Maybe now that I am dead I can finally have some fun

You can stop squeezing

Cause I have stopped breathing

So I have finally died

Now I just float around in space

Is that a smile or a frown on my face?

Some will say that I died too early

Some will say that I died too late

I couldn’t care less what people think

People are a bunch of Arseholes

At least I was the Captain of my own fate

People will come to my Funeral just to make sure that

I am gone

I lay in my Casket

I cant hear my Funeral song

As the mourners leave the Church crying or smiling

The Motherfuckers are all the same

As they get outside into the Sunshine

They have already forgotten my name

I am no longer breathing

Thank fuck for that.

THE END

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Field Of Screams

24 Saturday Oct 2015

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A hand points towards the Sky

It is chalk white the flesh and skin is long gone

It is attached to a body that is still in the ground

Through wind rain and erosion

The hand is once again touched by the Sun

The body has been there for over ten years

Buried in the field of dreams

But soon this Godforsaken place will be renamed

the field of screams

Little Billy Martin is taking his Dog Boomerang

for a walk

When they come upon a green field Boomerang

gets all excited

And he runs off barking and yapping

Billy chases after Boomerang because it is getting close to

dinner time

And tonight Mama is cooking his favourite Lasagne

Billy spots Boomerang digging around in the corner of

the field

As he gets closer he notices that Boomerang has something

in his mouth

Boomerang is proud of his discovery and he drops it at Billys

feet

Billy has one look and lets out a shriek and he takes off running

faster then he has ever run before

Boomerang trots behind him wagging his tail

What Boomerang dug up is laying on the ground

A Human skull with one distinctive feature

Its mouth is frozen in a permanent silent scream

Det Rick Fontana

is watching the County Medical Examiner Eartha

Campbell as she slowly unearths the rest of the body

Fontana is a twenty year veteran at the NYPD

And he has investigated over three hundred murders

He has a good track record with over 90% of those

cases solved

But this one looks intriguing

One last case before he retires

The Medical Examiner gets his attention telling him that

she will have the results of the autopsy as soon as she can

Det Fontana is a lot like that TV  Detective

He might look dishevelled and like he hasn’t slept for a week

But his record speaks for itself

He watches the M.E van as it drives away

Something tells him that this body is only scratching the

surface

His offsider Sgt Pulinski and a few uniforms are walking the scene

looking for clues

A discarded Cigarette butt anything useful

But after ten years the DNA will be degraded

The scene is cordoned off and the Cavader Dogs are called in

Fontana has a sinking feeling in his chest

He knows the Dogs will find more bodies

And he isn’t wrong

Twenty six more bodies are discovered that day in the field

The field of screams

The Medical Examiner gets help from nearby precincts to help

process the corpses

And two weeks later all of the bodies have been autopsied

The M.E and Fontana hold a press conference

Fontana tells the press that everything will be done to catch

this serial killer

That no stone will be left unturned

Every cliché is used to keep the press quite

But pretty soon it will be a quite riot

In a run down apartment in the seedier part of town

A weasel of a man  sits on his lounge watching the Evening

News

So they have finally found my bodies

He strokes himself as the News reader reads the auto cue

Her blond hair and lips move at the same time

Twenty seven bodies have been found in Evans field

A killer is on the loose

More after this commercial break

Eartha Campbell the M.E has been holding something back

It is for Detective Fontanas ears only

It seems that all of the victims had been skinned alive

Going by the cuts on the bones and the grimaces on their

faces

They were still breathing as the skin was flayed from their bodies

Heaven knows the pain and suffering they were put through

The killer leaves his Apartment he is a man on a mission

It has been six months since he last used his knife

He has a need that will only go away when he ends a life

He drives around looking for a runaway or hitch hiker

Somebody who wont be missed for a while

Then he notices a likely looking target standing on the

corner

She has her thumb out looking for a ride

Jesus he thinks don’t these people ever learn

There are bad people out there

And I am the baddest of the bad

The killer pulls his van to the curb and asks the young lady

in which direction is she headed

The answer is Rochester

She gives the killer a smile hoping he is going in her direction

He smiles back telling her to climb in and get comfortable

Then he drives her off to oblivion

The killers van has had a bit of work done to it

In the back the interior has been stripped bare

So after the deed has been done he can just wash the Blood

away

And so no DNA evidence will remain

And hose out the van he does

The girl from Rochester couldn’t fight one on one with a man

with a knife

He skinned her alive in the back of the van

She finally dies with a scream all over her face

Now the killer has to find a new burial site

The field of screams is now out of bounds

But then the killer thinks again

That field is his field so the Cops can go fuck themselves

He drives the van to the edge of the field of screams

Checking out the situation

Two Cops sit in a patrol car talking about Basketball eating

Donuts drinking Coffee just shooting the breeze

The killer reaches in to the glove box and pulls out a 38 special

He slowly makes his way under the cover of darkness to the

Police car

He gets close to the passenger side window and BANG BANG

Both Cops are dead before they even know they have been shot

The killer returns to his van and drags the girl from Rochester

to his field

And using the spotlights that light up the crime scene he positions

the girl so that her skinless body glistens under the glare

The killer drives satisfied with a job well done

And he arrives home with his needs sated

Det Fontana is awoken at 3am by dispatch informing him of

the shooting at the field

Two Policemen are down

Fontana calls Pulinski and they both arrive at the scene at the

same time

The bodies of the two Officers are still slumped in their seats

And the girl from Rochester is being examined by the M.E

Now the perp is a Cop killer

And Det Fontana makes a vow with himself not to retire until

this killer is caught

And this vow will be kept

The killer lies low for two weeks and then the urge hits him hard

So he jumps into his van and slowly he cruises the downtown

district

Looking for a thrill looking for a kill

And he spots a likely victim sitting at a Bus stop

The last Bus left about an hour ago

So this girl is stranded

Only she doesn’t know it yet

He cruises the van to a stop then gets out to tell the girl

that the last Bus is long gone

The girl looks like she is about to cry

The killer offers to drive her home

She starts to accept the offer but then her sixth sense

kicks in and she starts to back up

The killers urge is out of control and he goes to grab

the girl by the arm

The girl starts screaming and she scratches deep furrows

down his face

Then she is free and she takes off at a sprint

The killer is furious and he races back to his van

Hoping to catch the girl and teach her a lesson with his knife

But the girl is long gone

With Blood streaming down his face the killer is crestfallen

as he drives home

The girl runs and runs until she gets home

She tells her parents that she was almost abducted by a man in

a white van

But she has scratched his face real good

Her parents call the Police who arrive shortly after to get a

statement

After talking to the girl and hearing of the scatching

The Police put plastic baggies over the girls hands to

preserve any DNA evidence

At the Police Precinct the girls finger nails are scraped

and hopefully a match will be found

Det Fontana is walking down the corridor when the DNA

Technician tells him of the find

Maybe there isn’t a link to the field of screams murders

But maybe there is

So Det Fontana holds another press conference telling

the public to be on the look out for a man in his twenties

who drives a white van

Plus he will be sporting deep scratches down his face

Unfortunately for the killer he was too drunk so he missed

the late night news

So he went to work the next morning at the Post Office

One of his co workers asks him about the scratches

And the killer tells that he was taking the trash out last night

and was attacked by a large Raccoon

His co worker doesn’t buy his story so she goes to her locker

and calls the Police hot line and tells them about the scratch

marks

And that her co worker also drives a white van

The killer watches the news in his lunch break

And he sees his scratched up face on the screen

Something explodes in his head and he jumps to his feet

wielding his knife

He slashes at his co workers killing two and injuring a third

Then he reaches Julie the one who phoned the Police

He knows she is the one

So he stabs her twice races to the car park jumps in his van

not really knowing where to go

Fontana and Pulinski arrive at the Post Office and are almost

broadsided by a white van fleeing the scene

The Killer knows what he has to do and he drives like a Bat out

of Hell heading towards the field of screams

He arrives with Fontana and Pulinski hot on his tail

He drives to the middle of the field and is surrounded by about

twenty Police Officers

Det Fontana informs him of his rights

But the killer isn’t listening he is at his favourite place

The field of screams

So he looks Fontana right in the eye

He brings his knife up to his own throat and he opens it up

from ear to ear

The killer is dead

He died in his field

His Blood is dripping into the dirt

Mingling with the Blood of all the people that he hurt.

THE END

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Excess Express

11 Sunday Oct 2015

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The Train has left the station and it is never coming back

It makes the same sound as any other Train as it travels

down the track

But this Train is different it doesn’t care if you are an

everyday person

Or a famous person full of fame and success

This Train is the excess express

First on board is a Platinum Blonde named Norma

Jean Baker

She rides the Train to wherever it will take her

She once sang for a President who was celebrating

a Birthday

The President likes her nice and close but at the same

time he wishes that she would go away

Norma Jean also goes by the name of Marilyn Monroe

Who found her fame as a movie actress

But she couldn’t deal with all the  success

That is why she is riding this one way ticket Train

She took a shitload of pills to deal with her pain

Next on board is Brain Jones an original Rolling

Stone

Who wasn’t adverse to smoking the odd joint or cone

He played the Tamborine and the Rhythm Guitar

People were saying this guy is gonna go far

With his blonde hair and good looks he thought he

should be the leader of the band

But Jagger and Richards were the ones holding the

winning hand

After all they were writing all of the songs

So Brain Jones withdrew into himself drinking and smoking

bongs

Brain liked to hold a lot of parties and drink a lot of Alcohol

And he snorted way too much Coke

He might be kind of famous but he is just ordinary folk

At his last party he went for a swim in his pool

But Brain Jones broke the number one golden rule

You never swim while under the influence of illegal

substances

Or you will become the victim of the circumstances

Walking down the Platform just about to board is Janis

Joplin and Jimi Hendrix

Both burst onto the scene about 1966

Janis sang Rock and the Blues better then any white girl

could

While Jimi played Electric Guitar better then any Black

man could

But Janis didn’t like the way that she looked

People called her an ugly Duckling or a Pig

So she started to get drunk before and after every gig

Jimi liked the way that he played but he didn’t like the

way that he sang

He didn’t think that he had the Chops

He was doing stuff that he shoudnt be doing getting in

trouble with the Cops

They both had an addiction to the needle and the spoon

On a ride to the dark side of the Moon

Jimi went first and Janis about a year later

They had low self esteem and were self haters

They both thought that they could play with Fire and not

get a blister

Now they are gone but not forgotten Brother and Sister

The Excess Express is rumbling down the track

You better hope that it just slows down but doesn’t stop

Or just put your Head in the slot and wait for the Guillotine

to drop

In 1977 Elvis Presley was bloated and fat  from substance abuse

and over eating

His overindulgence is going to take some beating

The King surrounded himself with people who couldn’t tell him no

So Elvis kept on doing the bad things doing all the bad stuff

He never knew when enough was enough

So Elvis sat down and he ate his last meal with some uppers

and downers for Dessert

He would just eat and eat until it hurt

After eating and indulging in drugs he needed to visit the

Bathroom

So he had a seat and his Heart skipped a beat

And then it stopped beating forever

The King is dead

Elvis has left the building

And he is never coming back

Two comedians John candy and John Belulshi

go a business trip together but they don’t go by Plane

They decide to travel by Train

Are they freaking insane?

They say that all Comedians have a darker half

They don’t walk down the Yellow Brick Road

They walk a rocky troubled path

Well these two were shovelling more Snow then a New

York resident

They were in more trouble then the before mentioned

President

But the spotlight and the attention was more then they could

take

They take to many drugs that they want just buckle they will

break

And break they did they weren’t beautifully broken they were

broken in an ugly way

They are broken bad and they will stay that way

John and John went on a bender

They inhale more drugs then customs has ever detected

And they have smoked more drugs then John Wet has ever

rejected

Even though they died in different years John and John cried

the same tears

They died in different cities but they both died alone

In a Motel room a long way from home

The Excess Express isn’t trying to impress anybody

It just deals with the facts

It goes back and forth up and down the tracks

Picking up lonely lost Souls who died before their time

They were blinded by fame and ignored the warning signs

River Phenoix went to the Viper Room but he didn’t see a Snake

Like all of the others before him he made the same mistakes

He took more drugs then his body could handle

River was burning both ends of the candle

The wick is burning and River is covered in Wax

The only good thing about dying is that dead men pay no Tax

The Pheonix has stopped rising

The song has stopped reprising

We have come to Rivers final interlude

He is now shaking hands with Saint Jude

Kurt Cobain was the reluctant leader of Grunge

And all of the bad Juju he soaked up like a sponge

All of the people in the know were saying that Nirvana

were going straight to the top

What they didn’t know was that the Penny was about to drop

Kurt knew that he was a kid playing a big mans game

He didn’t like the spotlight he couldn’t handle the fame

So Kurt picked up a Gun and blew away his Head

And all of a sudden the leader of Grunge was dead

All Kurt wanted to do was play his music without any of

the Business Bullshit

But the fans and the music press wouldn’t give him a moment

of peace

So the Bullet to the Head gave him the release

Keith Moon Heath Ledger Michael Hutchence Whitney Housten

They all died way before their time was up

But they all had one thing in common

They all lived under the glare of the spotlight

And they all died alone

Just because you aren’t famous doesn’t mean that the Excess

Express wont stop at your Station

Because it will

So if you want to dabble in Drugs don’t go overboard cause the Train

will stop

You will climb aboard and fall the long endless drop.

THE END

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Electronic Friend

25 Friday Sep 2015

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I am out and about doing a bit of this and a bit of that

But I am bored out of mind as a matter of fact

I am buying some food

Trying on some clothes

This whole shopping thing gets right up my nose

After about five hours I have no more money to spend

So I head on home to my Electronic Friend

My Electronic Friend is a Playstation number four

I turn it on power it up I cant stand the waiting no more

I cant wait to start playing you no what I am saying

But before I no it it is 2am and today is a work day

Call Of Duty is still playing in my head

As I stagger towards my bed

Three hours later my alarm goes off to the sound of a

Rooster

I make a strong Coffee for a bit of a booster

I jump in my Car and make the long weary drive

I arrive at work tired and weary feeling barely alive

For about Eight hours I try to concentrate

I am really trying

But it is so boring and one by one I can feel my Brain

cells dying

The Clock seems to be going backwards the second hand is going

so slow

But finally it is time to go and I don’t want to be late

Cause I am heading home to my Electronic mate

My Electronic mate is a huge LED TV screen

A sleek lean arse kicking machine

I t plays all of my favourite movies

All of my documentaries and shows

Use the remote to fast forward rewind or press pause

I love my Electronic mate because you know just because

Another working day and I am having so much fun

I am being  sarcastic

I just hope that today goes pretty damn quick

And what do you know it bloody well did

So I say goodbye to my workmate Sal

And o go home to my Electronic pal

My Electronic pal is a Xbox that I haven’t played before

I am going to try to get a really high score

After I set up I grab a drink and settle in my favourite seat

There is a score that I really have to beat

That score was made by my friend Larry Joes

My hands become a blur as they manouver the controls

I am winning I take a strangle hold and I squeeze and

squeeze

And I bring Larry Jones and his score to their knees

It is Saturday morning and I visit my parents and run some

errands then I go and buy some food

I chow on down getting in a really good mood

But all good things must come to an end

And I race home to my Electronic friend

My Electronic friend is a new laptop computer

I start it up and do some Internet exploring

Google Yahoo You Tube is cool never boring

But then I must have hit the wrong button because all

I see is porn again porn again porn again porn porn porn

porn porn

I think my laptop is about to overload

And I think I am about to explode

I switch off the computer and try to catch my breath

I think I have become addicted to everything Electrionic

I know that it is all in my Head but my addiction has become

chronic

To get away from it all I decide to go for a walk

I grab my keys and my mobile phone

A phone that can do everything but talk

I close the front door and I start to unwind

I walk for hours down around the Lake

To keep my mind off all things Electronic I think of my

favourite food which is Cake

I don’t know how much more of this I can stand

I have to toughen up and be a Man

Then something starts to vibrate in my pocket

It is my little battleship rocket

My Mobile phone is Electronic

I just need a little fix

So I find myself a nice secluded spot

And I don’t even think twice

I whip out my Mobile Electronic device.

THE END.

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