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‘ Billy Johnson’s Black Pig’

19 Thursday Sep 2024

Posted by stevenjohnno in stories

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adventure, australia, blood, creative-writing, fanfare, fiction, first fleet, pig, pirates, relationships, ships, short-stories, short-story, writing

This story is about a small boy and his pet pig who together go on adventures in the woods but end up getting into a whole lot of trouble.

I hope that you enjoy reading my story and if you do please leave a like and a comment. Thank you.

‘Where do you think that you are going Billy?’

‘Thought that I would go down to the creek and catch a big trout or maybe use my bow to shoot a pheasant or a rabbit, Jesus ma even a scrawny rat would be mighty tasty right now.’

‘Don’t say the lords name in vain Billy Johnson, I know times have tough ever since your pa passed away but if you don’t do your lessons than you won’t be able to better yourself and move away from this place.’

Alice Johnson is a slim woman with stringy blonde hair but the lines on her face show the despair and hurt that has dominated her 32 years on earth but she has to stay strong for her son.

‘Please ma I have been stuck inside all day.’

‘Billy it is only 10 o’clock in the morning’ Alice laugh’s ‘But okay you can go hunting but don’t go too far into the woods and be back before lunch because I have turnip and spinach soup on the hob.’

Like his mother Billy also has stringy blonde hair and he is smaller than a ten year old should be but he is an energetic boy who want’s to grow big and strong so he can help his ma put food on the table.

After putting on his best coat Billy walks out into a typical cold English day ‘Bye ma back soon.’

After saying goodbye to her son Alice cleans up a bit before going out to her vegetable garden to pick some spinach and a few tomatoes.

The Johnson family live in a small stone dwelling that has seen better days that Billys father Cyril built by hand just after Billy was born.

Cyril Johnson was a proud man who promised his wife that one day he would more his family to South Hampton or even down to Brighton on the coast but after working seven days a week down in a coal mine where the conditions were terrible Cyril developed a lung condition.

On the morning of 21st June 1768 Cyril Johnson died of the dreaded black lung disease leaving behind a grieving wife and a small child.

It is now 1776 and nothing much has improved for the Johnson family because living in Coventry hunger and disease run rampant but Alice and Billy have managed to survive on nothing much than a wing and a prayer but praying to the heavens doesn’t put food on the table.

Once outside Billy is immediately hit by the stench coming from the open sewer running down the middle of the street ‘God please help me shoot straight today so we can get out of here and go to a better place.’

As he enters the woods the temperature drops and Billys hand me down pants and threadbare coat do little to keep out the cold but the determined boy strides forward along a narrow path that he has travelled many times before.

Old Oak trees with trunks covered in moss and lichen line the pathway and as he makes along Billy smiles when the birds start singing high up in the branches and when a crow appears and lands ten feet in front of him before walking forward along the path Billy follows the bird hoping that he will be led to a good spot to make a kill for supper.

Ten minutes later Billy begins to feel that the crow is taking him on a fool’s errand but when he rounds a bend the crow flies away and Billy walks into a small clearing full of bramble and blackberry bushes a good spot for hares and rabbits to hide.

Taking a seat on the ground Billy places his father’s crossbow on the ground next to him then he grabs a bolt from the quiver and begins to wait.

Lucky for Billy the black clouds overhead clear and the sun shines down onto the clearing causing a large hare to break cover and start chewing on some grass a mere twenty feet from where Billy is sitting.

Moving slowly Billy grabs his loaded crossbow and aims it at the hare who continues to eat oblivious to the danger.

After taking a few deep breaths Billy fires and to his disbelief the bolt hits the hare in the chest killing it instantly.

After performing a little victory dance Billy picks up the large brown hare by it’s ears and heads back towards home but dragging a large animal isn’t easy and twenty minutes later Billy is exhausted so he stops on the side of the path to rest for a while.

OINK OINK OINK.

Billy is startled by the strange noise coming from behind a nearby ditch so he gets up to investigate and to his surprise he finds a small black pig digging up worms with it’s snout ‘Where is your mama boy? I am sure that she will be back soon so hang tight.’

After giving the pig a scratch Billy picks up the hare and trudges off home.

OINK OINK OINK.

Billy laughs when he turns around ‘You can’t come home with me piggy wiggy’ but the pig walks right up to Billy nudging his foot ‘Alright you can come home but you have to promise to behave.’

With a new vigour in his feet Billy hurries home with a hare for supper and a new pet pig.

Leaving the hare outside so as not to get blood inside Billy calls out ‘Hey ma come and see what I caught.’

Alice soon appears smiling broadly when she notices the dead hare ‘Congratulations son, see I told you that you would catch something sooner or later then when she gives Billy a big hug Alice a small black form laying in the grass ‘What is that Billy?’ Alice enquires as she points over to his pig ‘Well ma that is Blackie a pig that followed me home so now I have my very first pet.’

At the mention of his name the small pig runs over and jumps into Billy’s lap ‘See ma he loves me.’

‘But Billy pigs aren’t kept as pets, I will fatten him up and in a couple of years he will be slaughtered and provide us with enough ham and bacon that should get us through the winter.’

Billy is heartbroken but he knows that his ma is right.

‘Also Billy Don’t let any of the people in town see your pig because if they will steal it and roast it over a spit.’

Billy shudders at the thought but doesn’t say anything.

That night the Johnson family eat the hare for supper and for the first times in months their stomachs were full of nourishing food ‘I gave the insides to your pig to eat Billy and when we have eaten all of the meat off the bones I will use them to make a hearty marrowbone soup plus I will sell the pelt to old Mister Morby down the road for a few shillings, imagine that Billy actual money.’

Last night Billy dreams about a distant southern land and a smile light’s up his face as he imagines such a place but suddenly the need to pee interrupt’s his fantasy ‘God dammit’ Billy whispers as he races outside to empty his bladder but when he returns to his straw bed Billy tries to re-capture the dream but it is gone.

Over the following three years Billy and his black pig go on many hunting adventures together and over those adventures Billy’s prowess with his crossbow has improved markedly to the extent that instead of taking home a single kill Billy now shoots four or five animals everyday.

He had to start using an old wooden wheelbarrow to help carry the carcass’s home and lifting all that weight caused Billy to grow into a strapping lad almost ready to take on the world.

Because the Johnson’s now had an excess of fresh meat they were able to barter with the neighbours swapping meat for fresh bread and eggs and Alice was able to plant a bigger variety of vegetables and she even built a chicken coop stocking it with a dozen hens and a noisy rooster.

A week later the hen’s started laying eggs giving the family another source of income and also Billy and Blackie went on what would be there last hunting trip together, even though they didn’t know it at the time.

Having not seen the crow for quite a while Billy was happy to see his spotter again flying from tree to tree leading him along a familiar path but after twenty minutes or so the crow flew down and landed on the edge of the path.

With a final CAW CAW CAW the crow flew away leaving a bewildered Billy behind because there isn’t a fork off the path as far Billy can see but when he wheels his barrow forward notices a narrow path half covered with shrubs and other vegetation.

Blackie walks ahead clearing a path for Billy to follow and soon the pair arrive at a huge meadow covered in lush grass, the perfect place for small animals to hide.

Billy doesn’t understand why he hasn’t stumbled across this meadow before but he is mighty happy that the crow led him here because not only has it lush grass but a small creek runs along the east side of the meadow.

Making a mental note to himself to bring along his fishing line next time Billy settles down to watch for prey whilst Blackie saunters down to the creek to cool off.

Not five minutes later a hare breaks cover and Billy hits it with a bolt bringing it down quickly followed by a quail and a pheasant.

After checking that Blackie is okay and filling his water bottle Billy goes back on the hunt he brings down two more pheasants and a partridge in an oak tree.

With a wheelbarrow full of meat Billy notices Blackie on the edge of the meadow digging for worms so he takes a seat on a large rock so that Blackie can eat his fill and it is just then that Billy notices how large that Blackie is, so he realizes that their time together is running short.

‘Come on boy lets go home because I am mighty hungry, we can come back tomorrow and try to catch ourselves a trout or two.’

Blackie happily trots back to his master’s side but when he gets close to the rock that Billy was sitting on the pig stops a few feet short then he starts sniffing the base of the rock.

Blackie turns around uncurls his tail and points directly to rock ‘What is it boy? Is there a map to a treasure chest underneath?’

The rock is too big for Billy to shift by himself but with Blackie’s help they manage to topple it over ‘Well blow me down and call me King Charles, what do we have here Blackie? Billy gasps as he reaches down and grabs an old leather satchel.

Reaching inside Billy pulls out a handful gold coins ‘Who needs a map when we have already fould the treasure hey Blackie?’

Getting no reply Billy looks around and spots his pig standing at the same edge of the meadow where he was earlier.

A few tears roll down Billy’s cheeks when he realizes that Blackie also knew that it was time to go and start his own family ‘It is alright boy off you go, maybe we will meet again one day.’

Billy lifts the wheelbarrow and walks away leaving a friend and a piece of his heart behind.

Arriving home Billy calls out’ Another full load ma’ Alice walks outside wiping her hands on her apron Good job Billy but where is Blackie?

He is gone ma, when I was hunting he wandered off and didn’t return I think he must have met a female pig.

Alice hugs her boy tight ‘It was bound to happen one day Billy, Better this then being slaughtered.’

Billy nods in agreement ‘Yeah Blackie deserves to have a life of his own, but guess what ma? I found a leather bag full of gold coins.’

‘What? Where Billy?’

‘Under a rock in the middle of this meadow, Here I will show you ma.

Taking a seat at the kitchen table Billy empties the contents of the bag onto the table.

‘Dear God these are all gold sovereigns worth a small fortune.

‘We are rich Ma you will never have to worry about money again and we can move into a big house with a Butler and servants.’

‘You have to take it all back Billy’ Alice says holding up a hand to stop her son interrupting ‘Don’t you see Billy these coins belong to someone else most likely a pirate or a buccaneer from the coast.’

‘But ma it is finders keepers everybody knows that.’

‘Billy pirates are cut throats who will kill us both if they find out who took their gold.’

Suddenly afraid Billy agrees but not before palming two of the gold coins and slipping them into his pocket.

‘You are right ma, I will return to the meadow and put them back under the rock and nobody will none the wiser.’

‘Good boy Billy now go wash up for lunch and first thing tomorrow take those coins back from whence you found them’

After washing up Billy slips another two coins into his pocket ‘Everybody knows that pirates are no good at adding up and minus’s’.

Right after breakfast the following morning Billie leaving the wheelbarrow walks out towards the meadow with the satchel of coins weighing heavy in his pocket.

He feels a little nervous when he enters the meadow because he has a feeling that danger is nearby so he quickly throws the satchel on the ground where he found it, rolls the rock back in place and attempts to slink away unnoticed ‘What are you doing here boy?’

Startled Billy spins around at the sound of the menacing voice and a clean faced man with short hair riding a horse emerges from behind a tree ‘I will ask you again boy, what are you doing hanging around my stash.’

Shrugging his shoulders Billie replies ‘Your stash? I don’t know what you mean I am just here to do a spot of fishing.’

‘Without a pole I don’t think so, now get going before I put a boot up your arse.’

‘Who are you to tell me what to do? Billy demands.

‘Don’t you recognize me boy? I am none other than Pirate Dan the most famous Pirate in the whole of the midlands.’

‘A pirate in the midlands? Pirate’s ride the high seas on a ship and get up to all types of dirty deeds not hang around meadows harassing boys and what’s with the name Pirate Dan it sounds gay to me.’

‘Plus you haven’t got a beard or long hair and where is your parrot? I have read all of the books and they also mention a parrot and a peg leg, what sort of Pirate are you?’

Pirate Dan’s face has turned beet red ‘You have a smart mouth on you boy, I will have you know that I am meaner than I look so clear out before I climb down and beat you to a pulp.’

Billie knows that he better not push his luck any further but he can’t resist having another dig ‘Sorry Pirate Dan but maybe you should head over to the coast get yourself a ship, grow a beard and for God sake buy a parrot.’

Steaming in anger Pirate Dan clambered down from his horse to confront Billie but the youngster is fast on his feet and he quickly disappears into the undergrowth.

‘I will remember your face boy until my dying day you mark my words.’

Pirate Dan rolls the rock away to retrieve his satchel but when he picks it up he knows instantly that some coins are missing ‘So you are a thief boy as well boy, one day we will meet again and I will make you pay for robbing Pirate Dan.’

Once at home Billy realizes that it was a huge mistake to antagonize Pirate Dan because while he didn’t look like your regular pirate he was still a pirate and so a very dangerous man.

‘You look upset Billy did something happen to you this morning?’

‘No ma I was just hoping to see Black at the meadow but when he didn’t appear I just put the coins back under the rock and came home.’

Billy is ashamed that he just lied to his ma but he doesn’t want to worry her about his run in with Pirate Dan.

‘Ma I have been thinking that maybe the time is right for me to concentrate on my school work so I can join the navy and explore the world like Captain Cook .’

‘Good idea son I only want what is best for you and with winter on the horizon there won’t be any animals to hunt anyway.’

‘I have some news also Billy but first sit down at the table and I will bring you a huge egg and pickle sandwich.’

As she prepares her son’s lunch Alice is worried that Billy might not like her news but there is only one way to find out and while Billy chews on his sandwich Alice sighs’ You know that I have been seeing Doctor Forrester right?’

Billy nods as he continues chewing ‘Well he is moving to Portsmouth soon and he wants us to go with him, so what do you think?’

‘After digesting the news Billy is happy for his ma plus the move will be help him in his quest to become an explorer but also it will put a distance between himself and Pirate Dan.

One month later the Johnson family climb aboard a covered wagon and after a short bumpy wagon they arrive at Doctor Foresters two story brick house in Nottingham.

An old man opens the front door to greet the new arrivals ‘Hello my name is Samual Doctor Forester’s butler welcome to Forester Manor.’

Samual rings a bell on the stoop and a small boy hurries out to collect all of the baggage from the wagon but all he can locate is two battered suitcases ‘Sorry master Samual but all I can find are these bags’ the boy shouts holding up the cases ‘The rest of their belongings must be coming on a later date.’

Alice is too ashamed to say that she gave everything else away so she utters ‘Um yes next week I believe.’

Billy is still spellbound by the size of the house and the surrounding open fields but the most striking to the wide eyed boy is the size of the forest across the road ‘I wonder if Robin Hood and his merry men still roam amongst the trees?’

‘Come on Billy and close your mouth or a moth will fly in’ Alice laughs.

Alice has been to the manor a few times so she can completely understand her sons reaction ‘Coming ma’ Billy quips still not believing that this is his new home.

Upon entering the Manor a tall distinguished gentleman that Billy vaguely remembers walks forward and kisses Alice ‘Welcome dear I hope that you will enjoy our time together here?’

‘I am sure that I shall Benedict now let me introduce you to my lovely boy Billy.’

‘Hello master Billy I hope you fit in well at my humble abode.’

Billy trying to comprehend the words spoken nods ‘I will sir of that I am positive.’

‘I am sure you will Billy now lets go to the dining room and have a spot of lunch.’

The dining room table in question has twenty seats surrounding it plus enough food to feed a small army.

Taking a seat next to his ma Billy asks her when all of the other people are arriving but Benedict answers ‘There are no other guests today young man, now you may help yourself or if not Martha will help you choose.’

When Billy doesn’t move Benedict summons Samual who rings another bell and soon a middle aged women hurries in ‘Martha can you please help master Billy with his food selection.’

‘Yes sir, now what would you like young man duck with truffles or roast lamb with all of the trimmings, there is plenty to choose from.’

Billy hands the huge plate in front of him to Martha ‘Um I will some of that and that and what meat is that over yonder? Billy asks Martha pointing to the other end of the table. ‘Fine chose master Billy that is the finest pork in the county slaughtered right here on the manor.’

At the mention of pork Billy suddenly remembers Blackie his faithful hunting companion No thanks Martha, do you have any chicken or rabbit?

‘Stop annoying Martha Billy and eat what is on your plate.’

‘Sorry ma, thank you Martha the food looks tasty.’

The table has enough cutlery on it to sink a battleship and Billy is unsure what to use first but he soon learns to follow his ma and Benedict and he begins to eat what is the finest meal he has ever eaten.

After demolishing the first serving Billy stands up and fills his plate ‘Billy people will think that you haven’t eaten before, now sit down and behave yourself.’

‘Let the boy enjoy himself Alice’ Benedict laughs ‘He obviously enjoys his food.’

During the first month at the manor Billy spent his time walking through the forest hoping to see Robin Hood or even Little John but after not finding anyone Billy soon grew bored with his surroundings.

One night Billy is sitting with his ma in front of the fireplace drinking a cup of hot chocolate when Benedict enters the room and asks Billy if he would like a tour of the house. ‘Sure Mister Forester.’

The pair go upstairs and after checking a dozen rooms Benedict whispers ‘Your mother told me that you are keen to become an explorer and travel the open seas, well Billy I have left my favourite room upstairs to last, now lets see what is inside shall we?

Benedict walks down to the other end of the corridor and opens a huge door than waits for Billy to enter first. Inside Billy can’t believe what he is seeing, on every wall there any painting of famous explorer’s and in the middle is a large green table ‘That is a snooker table Billy, we will have to play a game but above the fireplace is a painting that I think you will like.’

Getting closer Billy gasps ‘Is that Captain James Cook?’

‘Yes Billy it is and I know that he is a hero of yours and that you would like explore the seas one day, well Billy I am friends with Admiral Wellinton of the merchant navy.

‘He recently retired from the navy and I am sure that if I ask him nicely he would gladly come here and tutor you and Billy a fleet of ships will be leaving Portsmouth in a few months to travel down to a southern land that Captain Cook discovered eight years ago.’

Billy remembering the dream he had when he was a kid mutters ‘The great southern land actually exists.’

‘Yes Billy it does and if you study hard you might have a chance to be on one of the ships and fulfill your dream.’

Over the next five months Billy under the tutorship of Admiral Wellinton an old stuff shirt who likes to tell stories of his time on the high seas learns everything there is to know about living and working on a large ship and after teaching his student all that he knows Wellinton calls his mother and Benedict plus all of the household staff who Billy has grown close to into the study.

When everybody assembled in the study Admiral Wellinton got to his feet holding a small of sherry ‘It gives great pleasure to tell you all that master Billy Johnson has passed his studies with flying colours and he will soon live his dream when he boards a ship to travel down to a great unknown land.’

Congratulations on your entry into the British Merchant Navy, all the best on your travels young Billy.’

The room breaks out in applause including Alice who knows that she will miss her son dearly but he has a chance to roam the world so who is she to stop him.

One week later fifteen year old Billy Johnson along with Alice, Benedict and Admiral Wellinton travel down to Portsmouth by wagon reaching the dock just after sunrise on the morning of 13th May 1787.

An armada of 11 ships bob in the water awaiting their passengers one of them being the HMS Sirius a Naval vessel who along with HMS Supply will escort the remaining ships all the way down to their destination.

‘Why is there so many ships Admiral Wellinton? Benedict enquires ‘Well there are two Naval ships one of which is the HMS Sirius and that Billy is the ship that will take you to the other end of the world and the other nine ships will hold criminals who are going down there as punishment for their crimes and some of them will help colonize the great land down under.’

After HMS Supply is loaded with provisions and all of the sailors are onboard the ship leaves the dock with a fanfare and tears from family and friends.

Next HMS Sirius docks so it is time for Billy to say farewell to his ma who he hugs for ten minutes before Benedict taps him on the shoulder ‘You better move along Billy before the ship leaves without you.’

After shaking hands with Admiral Wellinton and Benedict Billy hugs Alice one last time before walking up the gangway.

The dock is crowded with thousands of people eager to see the first fleet leave and when he gets onboard Billy rushes to the gunwale to wave goodbye to his Ma.

At first he has trouble spotting her in the crowd but suddenly he does and with tears flowing he waves frantically until he can’t wave no more so he turns away.

But when a whistle is blown indicating that the HMS Sirius is about to leave the dock Billy turns around for a final farewell but in the chaos he can’t see his ma anywhere but he does notice a tall figure making his way forward to the edge of the dock.

The man looks up at Billy with hatred than he runs a hand across his throat ‘Oh my God it is Pirate Dan.’

Billy waits to see if his nemesis boards but luckily the pirate turns and disappears amongst the crowd.

THE END.

Part Two coming soon.

Thanks for reading my story and I hope that you liked it and if you did please share my story with your friends and leave a comment.

Also of you have the means please make a donation. Thank You all.

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‘Squeeze the Clouds’

01 Monday Jan 2024

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

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australia, christian, drought, faith, farm, flood, poetry, prayers, rain, short-story, wishes

My family have been living off the land for over five generations breeding sheep for their wool on a remote farm out Mudgee way in the northern tablelands of NSW Australia.

Since 1860 we have produced some of the finest fleece in the state and living out here dealing with wild dogs attacking the livestock and flies that swarm around your face making being outside in the heat a complete misery.

It is almost Christmas 2020 and we are in the middle of a big drought and my daddy is struggling to water the sheep not to mention providing the precious liquid to the farmhouse.

All of the dams and waterholes are bone dry because it hasn’t rained out this way for over four years now and if it doesn’t arrive I am afraid that my daddy might have to sell the family farm and move into town that is about 200 kilometres away as the crow flies.

My name is Rodney Swain and I just turned ten years old, my family is hurting bad all because of the lack of water.

At school it is hard to concentrate when I am sad all of the time so every now and then I would wish that I could climb a giant ladder and reach up into the sky and squeeze the clouds until they cry but so far my wishes have gone unheard because when I get home the sun is still beating down baking the earth causing the once lush paddocks to turn brown which causes my daddy to buy feed for the sheep that only adds to the misery.

At night thunderstorms would gather turning the sky black with menace threatening to send down a torrent of rain and my heart would fill with joy as I waited for the rain drops to hit the corrugated roof on our house but just like always the clouds would soon disappear without unleashing a single drop.

The only sound that I heard that night was the sound of an old rusty air conditioner trying its best to keep the heat at bay.

My family really needs some rain to fill the water tanks, dams and creeks on our property but we aren’t the only ones suffering, every farmer in the state are battling to pay the bills and keep the wolves at bay.

I wish I could join two giant ladders together put them on top of three tractors and hopefully than I will be tall enough to reach up and squeeze the clouds until they cry a steady drizzle of rain.

Doesn’t God know that people on the land have suffered enough, all they want is a fair go and some bloody rain.

Every morning I wake up with my sheets drenched in sweat, why does summer have to be so hot?

I know that farmers rely on the sun to grow their crops to help feed the nation and provide their animals with grass to fill their stomachs but the last few years have been a living hell so please God give us some rain and I promise to be a good boy and help mummy with the dishes.

All we need is some precipitation to soak into the ground to help us keep our sheep alive and provide money to the farmers all over the region so they can feed their families and pay their suppliers.

For four years the country has been sweltering under heatwave conditions with the temperature again forecast to hit 43 degrees again tomorrow and the following weeks,

The weather lady on the TV predicts the weather with a smile on her face.

How can she smile when farmers all over are killing themselves because they can see no other way out?

All because the clouds refuse to yield.

Maybe if I join three giant ladders together put them on top of four tractors and park them on top of five barns I will be able to reach up and squeeze the clouds until they weep.

Another three months have passed and still the clouds refuse to budge.

All of the farmers around the region are strong working 16 hours a day seven days a week but this drought is a bastard and I believe that even the strongest will finally break if we don’t get any rain.

Maybe if I join four giant ladders together put them on top of five tractors that I will park on six barns that I stack on top of seven farmhouses than maybe I could stand up on tippy toe to reach up and squeeze the clouds until they burst.

Another month has passed without any rain.

Maybe if I join five giant ladders together put them on top of six tractors that I park on seven barns that I put on the roof of eight barns that I put on top of nine skyscrapers I can finally reach up and squeeze the clouds and make them cry a river.

All of my prayers and wishes have been ignored because still those arsehole clouds refuse to budge no matter how hard I squeeze.

Sorry about the swear word but I am extremely frustrated and please don’t tell mummy and daddy that I swore because then I would be sent to bed without any dessert and tonight we are having homemade apple pie.

That night I went to bed with a full belly but my heart was still heavy with sadness and it took me quite a while to fall asleep.

‘RODNEY’ I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard mummy hollering my name but I was even more startled to find myself on the roof of our farmhouse jumping up and down performing a rain dance.

‘Get down from there right this second young man or I will give you a hiding that you will never forget.’

I ignore my mother and begin to pray ‘Okay God this is your last fucking chance, if you don’t make it rain this second I will take you off my Christmas card list and I will also refuse to go to church for a whole year so get off your high horse and give the clouds a squeeze because they are right next to heaven so they should be in easy reach.

And do you know what?

The clouds turned black in anger and unleashed a torrent of rain that made me scurry back inside ‘Thank you God now you can go back and help other people in need.

Two months later.

Hey God me again, can you please stop the rain.

The area is completely flooded and our family home is almost under water so could you please stop what you are doing at the moment and tell the clouds that I am sorry for squeezing them so hard but enough is enough so please bring back the sunshine.

It hasn’t stopped raining for going on sixty days and I think I just saw Noah’s ark float by.

Please God we are desperate.

Yours Sincerely

Rodney Swain.

                     THE END.

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‘Genie.’

25 Wednesday Oct 2023

Posted by stevenjohnno in Uncategorized

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australia, bottle, bucharest, fantasy, genie, magic

My name is Brett Cline and I own and manage the best antique store in Sydney ‘Old Is New Again’ on Pitt Street in the heart of the city.

I am recently divorced after 30 years of marriage and to fill my weekends in I travel from different markets and garage sales looking for something interesting to sell in my store.

So after cleaning up after my evening meal on Friday night I got online and after a quick search I was delighted to find a garage sale only a ten minute drive away in Rose Bay.

I like garage sales because most people don’t know the true value of what they are selling and even now and then i came across a precious piece of jewelry or a valuable heirloom worth thousands of dollars for a few bucks.

I arrive precisely at 8am and already a few people are browsing the tables which hold the usual array of plants, kids clothes, kitchenware and bric a brac, I give them the once over but my eyes are searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

After ten minutes of fruitless searching I am just about to give up when I notice the neck of a slender green bottle sticking out from behind an old heater ‘This looking promising’ I say under my breathe but just as I reach for the bottle a hefty lady almost knocks me off my feet ‘Excuse me’ said lady snarls ‘But i was here first I deserve that bottle that you almost put your grubby fingers on.’

‘I think not Karen’ I say as I block her bulk with an arm ‘If you spoke to me with kindness instead of barking at me the bottle would yours now go away and annoy someone else.’

After asking the person running sale how much the bottle would cost me I walk out with a bargain having spent a miserly $3.

Outside the front gate I notice the Karen and she looks like she has been crying and I feel ashamed of the way I behaved inside so I race towards her car before she can drive away.

She notices me approaching and begins to sob ‘I apologize for my rudeness inside’ I say and go to give her the bottle ‘Here this belongs to you.’

‘No it doesn’t I pushed you out of my way so take the bottle home and don’t forget to give it a rub because who knows a genie might pop out.’

After saying goodbye to each other I walk over to my car and drive 30 minutes to my store to see how the sales are going but also to give the bottle a proper appraisal.

When I enter the store my business partner Casey Lamborne is busy helping an old gentleman with a purchase so I carry the bottle into the back office and quickly get down to business.

The bottle stands 40 centimetres and is inlayed with what appear to be fake rubies, sapphires, diamonds and is decorated with gold leaf.

As I examine the bottle I look out front to see if Casey needs any help but she is still occupied with the customer.

I first met Casey back in the 1990’s when we attended the same university and shared an interest in history and antiquities.

She is a few years younger than me with long blond hair and a great personality and now all these years later Casey and I have a strong business relationship.

‘What have you got there? I look up to see Casey standing in the doorway ‘Just an old bottle that I found at a garage sale this morning come in and tell me what you think.’

Casey sits down next to me and examines the bottle with a loupe for a few minutes than screams ‘Holy shit Brett, I believe that this bottle is thousands of years old and I think that the rubies, diamonds and sapphires are all genuine plus with the gold leaf this bottle has the potential to be valued in the high six figure range if not seven figures.’

Thank God I am sitting down because my knees are shaking ‘Are you sure Casey? hand me the bottle for a second because I think I saw something inscribed on the bottom of the bottle.

Casey hands it over along with the loupe’ and I look at the bottle from all angles and gasp ‘Yes the words are a little hard to make out but they say MADE IN CHINA.’

‘What’ Casey blurts out and than she sees that I am joking ‘Why you bastard I could kill you.’

When we both settle down I tell Casey that even thou I believe her it would be wise to get an expert opinion so I take a pic of the bottle an attach it to an email that I send to an old professor from my uni days named Alfred Pennyworth and I get a reply straight away telling me to put the bottle in the safe until he arrives.

Unlike his namesake from Batman who is a calm efficient butler the Alfred Pennyworth who just walked into my establishment is a bundle of nerves who dresses like a relic from the 18th century but most importantly he is a great friend and colleague.

‘So tell me more about this bottle of yours Brett.’

I tell about the garage sale and that Casey believes that the bottle is old and worth a shitload of money.

‘As I told Brett I believe that the bottle dates from the 9th century in the Baltic region of Europe and is made from pure jade with precious gem inlays and gold leaf.’

‘Sorry guys but i need to go’ Alfred says ‘My wife wants me to bring something home for dinner and I don’t dare be late.

‘Keep the bottle in the safe Brett and bring it to my office one day next week so it can be properly examined my me and a staff member who I trust completely but going by the picture that Brett sent me Casey could be on the mark but we won’t know for sure until the bottle has been carbon dated.’

‘I should be going to Brett’ Casey says as she stands’ I need to go shopping so come on Alfred I will walk you to your car.’

‘I say goodbye to my two friends’ Thanks for coming Alfred I will let you know what day to expect me next week, see you on Monday Casey.’

‘I will empty the till and tidy up a bit before I get going as well.’

‘Hey Brett’ Alfred calls from the front door’ Give the bottle a rub because who knows a genie might appear and grant you a wish or two.’

I lock the front door with Alfred’s words ringing in my ears because that is the second time today that someone has mentioned genie’s.

After tidying a bit and putting the till drawer in the safe next to the bottle I lock up to enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Just as I reach my car to drive home Alfreds and the woman from the garage words are still revolving around my brain so I backtrack and re-enter my store where I quickly unlock the safe and put the bottle on my desk.

Opening the top drawer I grab a polishing cloth and begin to clean the bottle than I take off the stopper and peer inside but the bottle is completely empty ‘Jesus Brett; I mutter ‘Did you really expect a young blond genie to appear and grant you three wishes.’

‘I am still laughing when I notice a stubborn dirty spot just below the neck so I spat on the cloth and began to rub harder and harder and to my complete surprise the bottle begins to shake and a huge orange cloud emerges twirling like a mini tornado.

I wave my arms around and soon the cloud dissipates leaving behind a short balding genie wearing bright purple pantaloons with a matching turban.

We stare at each other for a few seconds before the genie proclaims ‘I am Blat master genie from Bucharest and I was born in the year 1146 but pray tell where are all of your sheep and goats?’

I can’t help but laugh at the absurd comment ‘My name is Brett the owner of this fine establishment and sorry but I don’t own any livestock and today is the 26th October 2023and you are currently in Sydney Australia.’

‘I have never heard of such a place but please tell me that you have a larder full of chicken livers and pigs feet?’

‘Sorry again but I could whip up a vegemite sandwich or perhaps you would like cheese on toast?’

Thinking that Blat wouldn’t like the Australian delicacy I quickly make some cheese toasties which Blat eats greedily.

‘Very nice but now to business, what is your first wish?’

I am suddenly nervous because I don’t want to waste any wishes ‘So Blat how many wishes do I actually get?’

Blat who reminds me of Mario from those Nintendo games ponders my question ‘Well Brett if you are my master for eternity I will grant you three wishes every five years but I warn you Brett that if after agreeing to be my master and than renege on the vow I will move heaven and earth to destroy you but enough talk what do you wish for?’

I want to tell Blat that I was really hoping for a hot young blond genie like the one in that old TV show and that I don’t want to be his master either but a shitload of wishes is hard to resist ‘Okay Blat I will be your master but I am still hungry so I will go make us some more food while I think about what my first wish will be.’

A few minutes later I return to the office with a tray of food and coffee to see Blat waving a small gold wand around ‘It has been quite a while since I granted my last wish so permit me time to hone my skills.’

‘Blat in what year did you actually grant a wish?

I can see Blat thinking inside his head ‘I believe that it was in the year 1399 give or take a hundred years.’

The two of us eat in silence for a few minutes and as I nibble on a vegemite sandwich I look around my office ‘Blat I have decided that for my first wish will be a brand new office space with all the mod con’s.’

Blat stands wiping his hands on his pantaloons and after a few deep breaths he begins to wave the wand around but nothing happens even after he tries again and again the office remains unchanged.

Not only do I get an old man genie but a genie who can’t grant wishes ‘Blat try crossing your arms and blinking or wriggle your nose a bit.

Blat gives me a murderous look ‘Please master I am a little rusty ’tis all.’

‘I am all out of ideas but after thinking what could it hurt I hand Blat his first vegemite sandwich ‘Here Blat try this sandwich it is full of yeast and tastes great and it might give you the energy to grant wishes again.’

Blat smiles and takes a huge bite and begins to chew but than his face turns purple and he begins to cough and splutter so I whack him on the back a few times to dislodge the food and soon enough Blat recovers ‘Did you try and poison me master because I am trying my best.’

I start laughing ‘No Blat that is usually the first reaction after a foreigner eats a vegemite sandwich but don’t worry you get used to the taste,’

Blat and I share a laugh but I am brought back to reality but a loud tapping on the front door and when I look out of the office door Casey stares back beckoning me to open the door.

I wave to tell her to give me a minute ‘Quick Blat back in your bottle I have a visitor.’

‘Sorry master but I have lost all of my powers and can not return to my former residence until I have fixed the issue.’

‘Fucking great. I mutter in dismay.

THE END.

Part Two coming soon.

Thanks for reading my story and I hope you enjoyed it and if so leave a like or a comment and if you have the means make a donation so that I can achieve my dream of becoming a full time author. Thank You

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