My name is Samuel and for reasons that will become obvious my surname shall remain unknown mainly because of the subject matter but also because of my self worth.

As the title suggests I had a nasty little habit that started when I started to take an interest in my bellybutton around the age of eight or so.

I was eating a bag of chips on the couch after school, well I should say that I was devouring those chips like a dog eating its dinner and of course most of the little buggers missed my mouth landing instead on the carpet leaving tiny potato specks all over the plush pile ‘Samuel L Jacobson, how many times have I told you to eat with your mouth closed, when you have finished decorating the loungeroom go and get the vacuum cleaner and clean up your mess.’

‘Sorry Mum’ Samuel smirks ‘I promise to be a good little boy for as long as I shall live.’

While vacuuming Samuel feels a sharp pain in his bellybutton and upon inspection he is pleased to see a small piece of chip ‘Bonus’ Samuel squeals before swallowing the tiny morsel.

Over the following months Samuel continued to explore his bellybutton in the hope of finding more tasty treat’s but all he found was lint and fluff that he inspected closely before placing his discoveries into a small vegemite jar.

In class one day at school Samuel unable to control his impulses begins exploring his bellybutton much to the ire of his teacher ‘Samuel can you please stop exploring your nether region and concentrate on the lesson.’

‘Yeah Samuel’ Porky Hogg pipes up ‘ Stop digging it is gross but did you know that if you really dig you might discover gold?’

The class erupts in laughter which causes Samuel’s face to turn a nasty shade of red.

Mister Russ noticing Samuel is on the verge of crying quickly settles his class down before the floodgates open.

A couple of weeks later Samuel is in his room furiously delving deep into his bellybutton when his mother walks in ‘Samuel what in the hell are you doing ?

Walking closer she notices that her son’s bellybutton is rubbed raw ‘Samuel stop what you are doing and listen to your mother ‘But Mum a kid in school told me that if I dig deep enough I will find gold.’

‘You wont find any gold Samuel, all you will get is a trip to the hospital to clear up the infection that is developing.’

Noticing the vegemite jar on her son’s bedside table Cindy Jacobson holds the jar out in front of her ‘What’s this Samuel?’

Samuel shrugs his shoulders ‘Just some fluff and stuff Mum, I am saving it for a rainy day.’

Cindy sits down beside her son and in a gentle voice she asks ‘Why are you constantly digging around down there Samuel?’

Feeling ashamed of himself Samuel whispers ‘It started a few months ago when I found a found a piece of chip in my bellybutton and since then I haven’t been able to stop myself even though it hurts.’

Giving her son a hug Cindy tells him not to move ‘I will be right back.’

Cindy returns quickly with a tube of Savlon antiseptic cream, two oven mitts and a roll of duct tape.

Smiling at Samuel Cindy squirts a huge dollop of cream into the infected area, secures the mitts onto both of Samuel’s hands with tape ‘That is pretty smart mummy but what about when I need to pick my nose.’

‘We will cross that road when we come to it Samuel but first off do you know why you have a bellybutton?

Seeing a confused look on her son’s face Cindy explains ‘Before you were born you lived in mummy’s belly and to feed you were attached to an umbilical cord from my placenta and when you were born the umbilical cord was removed leaving behind your bellybutton, do you understand what mummy just said?’

Feeling even more confused Samuel says ‘Mummy remember a couple of years ago you told me that a stork delivered me right to the front door?’

Smiling Cindy nods her head ‘Well that story is much more believable than the one you just told me.’

‘One day Samuel you will believe that story and I will also tell you all about the birds and the bees.’

Samuel shakes his head while muttering under his breath ‘Grownups sure are confusing.’

THE END.