Out in your backyard lives a little critter
He lives with his family,and sometimes
he has a baby sitter.
He lives out his life hopping from leaf to leaf
like a little green chomping machine.
Hopping,chomping,hopping,chomping
The little green fella is bored.
All he ever does is eat leaf after leaf,blade
of grass after blade of grass
And every now and then he will stop and
drop a little poop,now there is a scoop.
His mother goes behind him,with a real
little pooper scooper.
Cleaning out their house and home.
They don’t have many possessions
Not even a mobile phone.
One day he is outside,doing his usual
routine.
Washing in a puddle,keeping himself
nice and clean.
Just then he hears the giant two legged
creatures who live next door in a giant
house.
There are no other animals around not
even a mouse.
A noise has driven all the animals to seek
shelter.
The giant two legged creatures,own a noisy
two wheeled machine,causing all sorts of
helter skelter.
Well the green little critter,has escaped his baby
sitter,he wants to go for a ride.
A ride on the machine that the two legged
creatures call a chopper.
Jesus H Christ what a freaking whopper.
Well the little green critter,who is called
Jimmy the grasshopper.
Wants to go for a ride on that freaking
chopper
He has noticed that the rider of the chopper
has a bubble like thing on his head,yknow
for protection.
Jimmy thinks that if things get too unsafe
he can do a quick ejection.
So Jimmy the grasshopper,goes to bed
early knowing that he has a big day ahead
But he cant get to sleep in his little green bed
He gets up early,he can hear the chopper a
roaring.
His heart is racing,his pulse is soaring
Jimmy the grasshopper races outside,he is
about to hitch a ride.
He climbs to the top of a blade of grass,and
waits for the chopper to pass.
He takes to the air with a wriggle of his little
arse.
He hopes his timing is right,and that he hasn’t
taken off too quick.
You can feel the tension in the air
It is enough to make you sick
But Jimmy the grasshoppers timing isjust right
As he lands on the pillion seat he hangs on tight
But is greeted by a sight that takes his breath away
He sight before him is a mighty big butt crack.
Jimmy the grasshopper knows that if he falls into
that crevice he will never be seen again
What a way to go,death in the crack from hell
So Jimmy hangs on tight and tries to divert his
eyes,not only from the crack,but from all the bugs
that are hitting him in the face.
A bug getting hit by a bug,how ironic.
Jimmy is starting to get a bit scared,it is getting
to be too much to bear.
He thinks he just dropped something in his
underwear.
Just then the chopper stops at a set of traffic
lights,Jimmy sees an opportunity to escape
this ride from hell.
Things didn’t turn out as Jimmy thought it would
The chopper was going much too fast
He wanted this ride to finish.
Jimmy knew that if he is to survive
he has to go back home and just be a
normal grasshopper.
A few weeks later Jimmy feels a few
things changing with his body,and he
knows what is about to happen.
He is no longer a grasshopper.
He has turned into a locust.
The weather is warm
Now is the time to swarm.